I'm really tired right now but something just made me want to write on this stupid blog. Like, some people just write about their day. I don't want to just do that. I want to be interesting. Ha. Good news is I think I know what's up with my mood swings. It's just been this week. This week, which happens to be that time of the month so I'm an emotional fucking wreck.
I finally told him how I feel, and of course nothing. We do need to talk about this. We do need to talk about how I'm doing all the work. He knows I care about him and want to spend time with him, but how do I know he feels the same way about me? By "telling" me he cares? Bull fucking shit. I deserve better then that. I know I do. But I guess I'm just one of those people that likes to play with fire. I know I'll eventually get burned, but I like taking chances. Although, in real life I absolutely hate fire. There's actually this video of me at Christmas. When I was like 3, I had this Christmas candle. My mom was preggo with my brother so she was sleeping and my dad was videoing me. He asked if I wanted to hold the candle. I said yes, but as soon as he looked like he was about to light it I shyed away from it. Literally ran away from the candle. Fire and me just don't mix. So I guess that was a bad metaphor to use.
Anyhoe, I think things will start getting better. I just wish for once I could not think. Just turn off my phone and chill. I would like to do that one day. Leave all of the people that I care about on good terms and just go somewhere for a day or two. I think it would be nice. I haven't been worry free in a while. Or if I was it didn't last a long time. Maybe that will be on my to do list for the summer. Agreed? Agreed.
On to the quote of the day:
"It had been a tempestuous week, snared by emotions rubbing me so raw I hurt at night, alone in the dark." - Crank
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